A Smart Girl's Guide to Valentine's Day

Take my advice with a pinch of salt, or whatever else you'd like. Know that I'm the jaded sort, sometimes.

- You don't have to be buying cards for your neighbor and third cousin. Or your child for that matter. It is Valentine's Day not Mother's Day. And yet, on the card aisle at the grocery store section there's all sortsa love going on - Grandfather to Grand-daughter, Sisters, Best Friends... Really? REALLY? Is it just me who thinks it's all so damn unnecessary?


- Valentine's Day is on a Tuesday this year. It's okay if you had your date-night this weekend or are postponing it to the next. Tuesday is but a spillover from Monday and if you're like me you have the weight of the world on your mind on a Tuesday night, hearts and flowers be damned.




If you're married:

- Don't be jealous of your coworkers who will have flowers delivered to the office. Tell 'em your husband is traveling, and he's on another planet. Either that or your grand aunt passed away and you're not celebrating anything this year.


- Don't binge on the chocolate, please fatty don't do it.



If you're Single: (I've been there and this is straight from the heart)

- Put your head down and plough through. It will be over before you know it. Besides, them bit**** are all going to break-up any way.


If your Facebook status says "In A Relationship" (this is a very important day for you)


- Fortunately or unfortunately, there's a ton to decipher from everything he does and doesn't do.


- Keep your expectations low so you can allow yourself to be surprised, even while that little voice at the back of your head is chanting Is he going to propose? Is he going to propose? He's shuffling around awkwardly I'm sure that's what it is. NO, YOU CRAZY HALLUCINATING WOMAN. He's shuffling because he has a wedgie and it's damned uncomfortable to have your underwear in your crack.


- If the day goes by with no big declaration of love, well then there's your birthday, Christmas, New Year, your dating anniversary and next Valentine's Day to look forward to!


I have to end with a beautiful love song. And it's only fitting that it's a Whitney Houston classic.



Much love, chocolate and overpriced flowers to all.